"While new parents' happiest day may be the day their child was born, for you it's the day your child isn't born. Hey, that's every day!" Do you think minivans are for losers? Do you secretly believe all babies look like squooshed worms? Do you actively avoid eating at establishments offering complimentary crayons? Does the thought of giving birth make you reach for the nearest martini? Do you ever wonder - Why have kids when I could just have fun? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you're ready for the wonderful world of unparenting. In Baby Not on Board (Chronicle Books), author and humorist Jennifer L. Shawne reveals what you can expect when you're not expecting, offering advice, wisdom, and support on topics ranging from throwing yourself an unbaby shower, coping with dreaded OPCs (other people's children), finding appropriate child substitutes for those innevitable weak moments, plus plenty of reasons why your life is perfect just the way it is. Sure, having a baby is great, but NOT having a baby is really great. Congratulations and welcome to your fabulous childfree lifestyle.