Childfree, not quite by choice
For father's day, an interesting essay by a man who always wanted to be a father but kept on falling for women who adamently didn't want kids. Very odd, considering how hard it is for childfree singles to find like-minded dates.
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While many like to call childfree people "selfish," the truth is not having kids provides you with more time to give back to society. I enjoyed reading about one unparent who's doing just that.
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While many like to call childfree people "selfish," the truth is not having kids provides you with more time to give back to society. I enjoyed reading about one unparent who's doing just that.
Harris is the closest thing to a father some of the children who frequent the Eastside club will ever have, so he takes his job seriously. He gives children his home phone number, and advises the older ones about dating and college.
He's childless in the biological sense. Yet he figures he's currently mentoring "maybe 20 or 30" young people whom he calls or visits at least once a week. He's been doing it for years, first as a volunteer at the club, and later as a staff member. Some of his kids, as he calls them, are grown now. A few, such as Kirby Cole, have come back as mentors themselves.
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3 Comments:
Because I have no children of my own, I'm able to be a fantastic godmother to four kids, give them great experiences and be the "cool aunt." Being the "cool aunt" is so much better than being mom and dad. :-)
I respect every individual for their decision and their views. And I certainly don't suggest that people run out and have babies just because everyone else is doing it. As a mom of two wonderful boys, though, I have to say that no non-parent will every truly know whether being a "cool aunt" or non-parent really is better than being a mom or a dad. I was one half of a DINK for five years, so I've been on both sides. If you had one, you would get it. Just my two cents.
Anonymous (7-27-06),
Of course, if I had a child I would love my child with my whole heart! That's exactly why I DON'T want to have a child, is because my life would then become very unbalanced, because I would give everything I have to be the best mom I could be, because I would love my child so much. Yes - my child would be adored, but I believe that I myself might, well, whither away in the process...
In today's world, having kids is all about the kids. In the pre-industrial age, kids contributed to the family, now they just take away. Parents are expected to give their kids everything. That's just too much for me. Besides, why go through all of that and end up with a child that maybe doesn't even feel close to you, and love your child though you may, your child may end up feeling like a burden. I know WAY too many intelligent, caring parents who have children that just don't give a flip. Kids? No thanks.
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